Sunday, June 21, 2009

Fatally Yours


I
t had been a while since we'd seen each other, but there was no denying the fact that whatever was between us what not over. At least not yet. We mingled on opposite sides of the room, keeping track of each others movements with the back of our eyes. I stood in the kitchen flirting with a man who I could care less about. My mind was all over the place. In my mind, I was all over him. As I leaned back against the kitchen sink, I was flooded with memories of our first time in his tiny studio apartment a few blocks from the TSU campus. Even though four years had passed, I could still remember every detail like it was yesterday. I had to leave. I needed to get out of there quickly. I told my friends goodnight, congratulated the host on her graduation and walked out hoping he didn't notice. Truthfully, I knew he was watching. I was counting on it. As I walked towards my car, I heard his footsteps behind me. I smiled.

Somewhere between his hand tapping my shoulder and our first hello in years, we ended up in the backseat of my car. There was no hesitation, even though I knew I should have pushed him away. I couldn't stop myself, I could hear myself groan as he lowered his hand and unfastened the buttons of my shirt. It was like our first time over again. The emotions started to creep back. But that wasn't what I wanted. I didn't want us back together as a couple,or did I? I had to be clear headed,I had been dreaming of this moment for years , he couldn't be in control, I had to take over. I lowered my body in between his legs. Tracing my fingers over the top of his boxers, I felt him shudder at my touch. I let my tongue take the place of my fingers and I knew I had him where I wanted him. Tonight, I was going to do things my way. I was finally going to get everything I wanted


****************************************************


He was my first taste of freedom, my first taste of exploration, he was my first. I was heartbroken for years after him. I woke up in the morning and cried. At night, I cried myself to sleep. After three years of dating, two years of engagement and planning our future together, it was over. Four months before the wedding, he sent a text message to end my life it. I knew I had to get him back one way or another. He had ruined my life. He had taken everything I had in me and ruined me. It was not over. Not by a long shot.

His voice was gentle. Or maybe it was just weak due to the lack of food. "You know I still love you" he said.

Love? What did he know about love? After crushing my heart and shattering it into pieces? After I had to cancel all the wedding preparations? Cancel my parents and extended family members tickets from Lagos? Paying my bridesmaids back for the dresses? Being the laughing stock of Houston for how many years? What did he know about love?

"You have no idea how much I love you!" The tears welled up in my eyes, the pain was there, but I was still in love with him after everything. No. I couldn't let my self fall for his charms. I reached over and unlocked the chains around his legs. It was time. If he knew any better, he wouldn't drink the water I was about to hand him. But he didn't. He drank it, he drank it hastily and made me smile. The stupid fool. Little did he know that the water he had been drinking for the past five days was the cause of his weakness.

I switched the light on and he squinted. It took him a while to adjust to it but when he did, the look in his eyes was priceless. I had been waiting, planning, praying for this day to come around. And here it was again, Saturday May 11th. He closed his eyes and opened them again. Staring at me from head to toe with his mouth open, he stood up shakily from the chair and and put his hands over his mouth to muffle up the sound before it fell out.

With the light on, the rhinestones on my dress glistened brightly. My day was finally here. I had been up all night preparing for it. The whole week had gone by so fast. Luring him into my house was the easy part. Between setting up the garden, ordering the cake, and adjusting my dress, it had been a hectic week. It was a happy hectic week, and my dream would finally be becoming reality. Our wedding was finally here. I was finally becoming a Mrs.

****************************************************************

My head was ringing. I could hear it ringing, or so I thought. I shuddered at the fact that I had let it happen again. He knocked me down with the vase of white roses and ruined my perfect day yet again.This time, he was going to get it. I blew out a heavy breath and picked the knife out of the toppled cake. Whatever surge of energy he got from eating that piece of cake was going to wear off. He had to be stupid to think there was nothing in it. Ha! Stupid, stupid fool. There was no way out. Not at all. All the doors were nailed shut, the windows were welded with iron, and there was nobody around here for miles.

Once upon a time, I had dreamed that he came back, apologized, said all the sweet things imaginable and then we'd go back to being happy forever. Even after all that I went through to make this day perfect he still found a way to ruin it.

The scrambling stopped and it went silent. He knew I was there. He knew I had seen him. The voice on the other end of the line rambled on squeakily, asking for more information. First he breaks my heart, then he ruins my wedding, and now this?

I lunged towards him from the doorway, the setting sunlight peeked through the tiny holes in the iron window of the room, making the blade glow. He tried to get away but I dug the knife into his right foot. As if he could not process fast enough what was happening, his face first contorted in agony before then he let out a scream that sounded a lot like a whimpering dog.

I laughed. The drugs were affecting him already. His body was beginning to get heavy, and the bleeding from his foot made it even worse.

Perhaps it was the champagne from the toast, but it felt so good seeing him weak and in pain. My adrenaline was beginning to build. I hadn't felt like this in years, I thought the wedding was going to make me feel good, but this was so much better. Hearing him cry in agony was exhilarating. Now he knew the pain I had felt for years, he could finally feel what it felt to have his heart ripped out. But then, it wasn't his heart I stabbed........


**********************************************************************

I could hear them from afar. I knew they were coming. It only took a few minutes before the sirens were blaring outside my door serenading the chilly night. I was burning with anger. He had to ruin everything.

"This should have been the best day of my life!" I screamed.

Even though the room was dark, the flashing lights guided me to the trail of blood he had left behind. He was in here somewhere, there was no doubt about it.

The boards creaked as I moved and my dress mopped his blood as I followed it into the study. His right foot gave him out. The blood pooled around the base of the bookshelf. What a stupid fool.

"Please," he begged softly, "don't do..." The fear shone in his eyes as he looked up at me. There was no color in them anymore. I knelt down beside him and cradled his head in my lap.

"Shhhh, no more talking." he was staring at the knife I had pulled out from underneath my dress.

"Remember when you told me you will love till the day you died?" His lips smiled but his eyes teared up.

"Do you still love me?"



***************************************************************************